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Living with a hoarder spouse

FuckBook Base Living with a hoarder spouse.

Being the family member of a person with hoarding disorder HD can be very stressful. For those family members who live with the person with HD, such as a partner, child, sibling or dependent parent, living among the extreme clutter can cause a lot of physical and emotional difficulties.

These same difficulties can also be present for family members who do not live with the person with HD, and all families affected by HD may experience friction and tension as a result. Increased Family Conflict A major area of conflict arises when the hoarding results in a loss of usable living space, especially in shared areas such as the kitchen, living room, etc. Another area of conflict is the financial strain that can result from excessive shopping in order to get more things, and the Living with a hoarder spouse need to get storage facilities chests, lockers, garages, sheds, etc.

This extends to exerting control over how the hoarding items are handled, with the individual with HD not letting other family members make decisions about their own home.

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This can lead to feelings of helplessness, Living with a hoarder spouse, anger, and vulnerability among family members. And finally, conflict can arise if family members get so frustrated with the hoarding that they attempt to clean or organize the home, especially if they do this without the individual with HD. The person with HD may feel deceived or violated by this action, and it can lead to arguments and loss of trust within the family.

Children of Those with HD Children of those with HD often cannot avoid living in the extreme clutter — especially if they are still minors — which affects their social lives and development. This may lead to feelings of isolation, helplessness, and resentment.

In severe cases, children may not have space to play or study to the extent that the parent with hoarding may be investigated by child protective services. Due to the increased family conflict, children Living with a hoarder spouse feel torn between the parent with HD and the parent without it.

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Should the family conflict reach such a point that divorce is considered, children may blame the break up of their family on the person with HD. Legal issues may arise should a neighbor become aware of the home situation and call child protective services CPS.

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If this happens, an investigation may ensue — this may result in the removal of children from the home, unless one of the parents makes other living arrangements.

Whether the child continues to live in the extreme clutter or is removed from the home, the end result can be devastating for the family. Adult children often have a strained relationship with their parent with HD.

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As adult children move out of the home, they may become estranged from their parent with HD due to disagreements about how hoarding should be handled. Adult children may also blame the parent for the conditions in which they lived as a child. Therefore, grandparents may become isolated from their grandchildren — not only does this create distance within the family, but it causes the person with HD to become even more isolated. Being in the caregiver role may cause increased interpersonal conflict, chronic worry, anxiety, depression, and the inability to cope.

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Caregivers may also experience a number of negative life events, such as loss of self-esteem, disruption of finances, loss of competence, loss of hope and sense of security, and difficulty planning for the Living with a hoarder spouse. Spouses of Those with HD Spouses of those with HD typically put up with the hoarding behavior of their partner for years before deciding that they can tolerate it no longer. Frustration and hostility build over time when their partner is unable to make a dent in the clutter despite repeated requests.

The spouse may consider separation or divorce when they become too frustrated or the family conflict gets too intense.

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