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Why is hookup so hard for guys

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And it makes logical sense. It allows for minimal time commitment, minimal emotional attachment meaning less chance of getting heartbrokenand lots of physical pleasure.

The pervasive idea has been that only men are capable of dividing their emotions and their bodies. No girl wants a dainty man. We could act cold sometimes and emotional the rest of the time.

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The end goal is achieved, but the pursuit is ruined and interest is quickly lost. In order to avoid the problem of one person being significantly more interested and emotionally invested than the other, the basic rule is that the man remains relatively stoic until the woman comes forward with her emotions, at which point the man is free to even the playing field by admitting his own feelings.

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But what if he decides to reverse this role and admit his own feelings first? The idea driving hook-ups for men is two-fold.

Of course, during the actual act of the hook-up we feel good. Physical pleasure is awesome.

So, having failed to solve our loneliness, we try to convert our hook-up into social capital. Men, myself included, enjoy getting to drop a hint or two that things went very well with that girl from the bar the night before. But the reason we say things like this is less about actual happiness — of having had a phenomenal time — and more about the social cachet it buys.

Why not use college and the majority of your twenties for jumping through brief relationships and sexual encounters?

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After all, hook-ups usually fade in a few weeks, maybe even after just one night. The problem with this though is that in order to have a healthy, long-term relationship in the future, you need to become comfortable with yourself now.

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Crafting your identity around being able to pass through meaningless, transient encounters without much thought will start to shape who you are, what you look for, and where you derive both pleasure and happiness.

So, instead, we should be choosier with our relationships, perhaps open to a hook-up here and there, but always intentional and always understanding of the potential consequences at hand. No matter how much we think we can separate emotional and physical involvement, in the end, these things are inherently linked.

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A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Reblogged this on The Sexy Cynics. Reblogged this on serendipitybyink.

Now that dating has changed drastically we as a culture need to ask ourselves why. The answer is frequently Internet accessibility and a bigger fishbowl, however this cannot be. Some men say that it is awkward to ask a new partner what they like, and many even admit to being […].


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