No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing. After four months, I wanted out, so I completely disappeared! I ignored all of his phone calls, and that was the end of it. Another time, I hoped that my boyfriend would cheat on me and get caught so I could find a good enough reason to end things, which eventually happened.
And in my twenties, since I lived with my boyfriends, I would just keep quiet, letting things drag on. Cowardly thing to do, huh? Later, I realized that I disliked conflict. I was afraid of it. I was afraid of the disappointment it would cause in them and in myself. And most of all, I was afraid of failure.
But with time, I developed a few thoughts to give me strength to truly voice my unhappiness in my relationships, and they should help you too. Think about your past relationships —the one you had fifteen years ago, the one you had ten years ago, or the one you had five years ago. Thinking this way helped me lessen the importance of constantly keeping them in my mind. When I projected myself into the future without the other person, I imagined an alternate life where both of us were with the right person.
I imagined us being happy. Why not let that someone be you? Losing someone might make you feel like a loser. But if you think of the action of losing someone who makes you unhappy and wonder what it would feel like, it changes your perspective on things. When I did this, I felt strong. Because I then had the willingness to move, correct, How to be strong and end a relationship change the course of my life. Getting away from someone who brings you torment is the biggest relief. It makes you regain your freedom, your energy, and your life.
We receive messages, or teachings, from people all around us. And we receive them at certain moments in our lives. Just as teachers came and went in school, other people will also come and go as life, or the school of life, goes on.
Imagine being the author of your own adventure book. Picture yourself reading it and finishing a chapter.
What will happen in the next chapter? This approach really helped me get excited for my next adventure—which I admit, might be a little scary too. We always think that when we break up, we kill everything else that was created from it.
You can learn so many things about yourself from your previous relationships.
In my case, I learned to be more present, more attentive, and more thoughtful. I learned that I had to give myself emotionally if I wanted to have a stronger relationship.
Meditating on your past relationships makes you grow, and learning from them improves future relationships. A relationship is about true communication and intimacy.
Bring the focus back to yourself and picture yourself in a distant future being in this exact situation. Do you like what you see? This vision made me see a dark portrait of my life.
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So I understood that I should only worry about how I feel about myself in the present and that I needed to stop worrying about others so much. You possess a profound inner voice—an all-encompassing, nurturing, and loving voice. Your inner voice will never lie to you.