Judy Watson-Remy candidly admits what many other women won't say out loud: She's angry at her husband a lot of the time. She has plenty of company: The demands of raising kids can take a toll on even the best of relationships, and when couples don't have the time and energy to work through their issues, anger and resentment can build.
Consider the words of one angry wife: One of the most common complaints marriage counselors say they hear from angry young moms is that their husbands don't shoulder a fair share of domestic chores. And it's not just the physical labor that gets to them. Women also feel burdened by mental overload -- having to keep track of every shoe size, doctor's appointment, birthday partyand more. Do you even know they're in Girl Scouts?
Other common gripes for women are that their spouses don't pay enough attention to them or are insensitive to their concerns and needs. He doesn't even want to have a conversation with me, and that really makes me crazy. I'm with the kids all day, taking care of them.
Don't I deserve to have someone take care of me once in a while? Still, she's reluctant to tell her husband how she feels. Explosions like that are typical. Then, when things reach the breaking point, all the pain, hurt, and frustration come flooding out.
Psychologists say that women tend to experience temporary relief after an angry outburst.
It feels good to release pent-up emotions, and it helps alleviate the stress that rage can cause. Ultimately, though, it's counterproductive to allow things to reach the boiling point. What's worse, repeated meltdowns can cause a man to withdraw even further.
Males react to confrontation with physical symptoms of stress: Their blood pressure goes up, and their heart rate increases. So to avoid the discomfort, a man may simply tread carefully around his wife and her issues or avoid her completely.
As couples grow distant, the first casualty is usually their sex life.
And husbands, despite their reputation for boundless lust, tend to avoid intimacy with wives who are mad at them. Over time, lack of sex in a marriage will deepen the estrangement and further erode the relationship. Simmering anger is also hurtful to children, experts say. When women feel resentful, they're more prone to lose their patience with their kids. Even if they do manage to keep their feelings inside, constant resentment -- and snippy comments or cold, distant glances between partners -- give children a bad example of what marriage should be like.
The situation is not hopeless. Here are his and others' suggestions for dealing with mad-mom syndrome. The next step is to identify which one of your spouse's behaviors aggravates you the most.
Then, figure out whether you play a role in it. But both people in a relationship contribute to a bad dynamic. If you're a control freak, for example, can you really expect your husband to take the initiative to make decisions? You should also talk to your spouse about what's making you mad -- before you explode.
But don't try to work things out when you're feeling angry and upset either. Instead, schedule I am starting to resent my husband time to talk after you've calmed down and can have a clearheaded conversation.
Finally, it's helpful for young parents to remind themselves that this is a particularly stressful period in any marriage. It's natural to argue and fight with each other occasionally, and most good relationships can survive that. In fact, learning to work through your differences and disagreements will help you build a stronger relationship -- one that will survive long beyond these demanding years of raising young kids.
Why should a woman make a list of things for her husband to do? Does he not live in the house as well? Is he not a father too?
Then telling the woman that she needs to find a way to go to the gym or take an afternoon nap. And talk to the husband before you get mad? Again, blaming the woman for things getting so bad. My husband and I have worked out a lot of issues revolving the home and the kids but this advise would have been absolutely useless to us. My advise is, let your husband read articles that you look up for improvement.
I know, still work for the woman, right? Make the husband read articles made for men in this department. They need a third person to intervene to take it seriously.
I have been reading through thousands of books and articles for 15 years now about marriage issues. Maybe you should be a counselor of some sort and start putting men in their place instead of I am starting to resent my husband babying them and making excuses for them. Thank you Jabberjam for your wisdom!!!
I salute you for being truthful and bringing it!! My husband slowly started to take control of everything in my life now I am at the point were all of my family lives clear acrossed the country and I have absolutely no friends I am actually scared to even try to make friends in fear of upseting him.
He doesnt physically abuse me he has pushed me a few times but physically no he isnt. He controls everything even though I work fulltime I have no money I am starting to resent my husband he takes it all when I get paid my husband makes 4 times more than me but he takes all of my money so I have nothing to use unless I ask him for funds and give him a good excuse for why I need it. I have to ask permission to go to the store and he checks grocery and shopping bags as well as reciepts whenever I go shoping to ensure I dont buy anything but what he allows the is when he actually lets me leave the house by myself and when I do he ensures that my son is with me at all times.
Since he is always accuses me of cheating I have to literally walk with my head down and not say anything about my environment because he feels that out of respect if any man walks by I should not see them or make it look like I see them. He has accused me of cheating on him saying that I am addicted to looking at men even though I never I am starting to resent my husband I am to scared to even look up from the ground to even look at someone by accident.
I have no car and whenever I tell him that I want a divorce he threatens to take full custody of my son. The one good thing I can say is that he is a great dad he treats our son completely differently but when it comes to me he will yell at me and degrade me for leaving a wet rag in the sink instead of hanging it up.
I feel hurt trapped and pissed at how he treats me. I know that I am a great woman I am smart loving and caring I work full time I take care of our home our son and I go to school but he calls me lazy even though all he ever does is go to work come home and sit on his ass.
The horrible part is that even though he treats me I am starting to resent my husband way I still love him and would be the happiest woman in the world if he would just love me the way I needed to be loved. But I know that was probably a delusion and it will never happen.
I want to leave so bad but with no money no car and a young son finding a way out is going to be hard, I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a love spell doctor that could help me cast a spell to make him change and treat me well, I am the type that never believed in such, but I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the love spell doctor, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my husband will change, he went ahead to cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4 pm.
My husband called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that has been happening that he wanted me to forgive him, that he loves me so much and he will never hurt me never again. I was so happy that was how we started living happily again together.
Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person I am starting to resent my husband referring him or her to the only real and powerful love spell doctor who helped me with my own problem.
Parents may receive compensation when you click through and purchase from links contained on this website. If your answer is yes, you're not alone.
Simmering anger is a common problem among couples with young kids. Here, help from leading marriage counselors. The Roots of Rage One of the most common complaints marriage counselors say they hear from angry young moms is that their husbands don't shoulder a fair share of domestic chores.
The Fallout of Anger Psychologists say that women tend to experience temporary relief after an angry outburst. Greatly Improve Your Marriage The situation is not hopeless.
Don't let it build.